Awaken and I feel sick
Like butterflies dying in my stomach
Now I cannot sleep
The visions creep behind my stare
Giving me the reality
Of dying in a nightmare
Don't say that it doesn't mean anything
Don't say you can't die in your dreams
I'm running through a familiar hall
The nameless overwhelming
They keep pushing me they're pulling me apart
What I think what I feel what I say
Well it doesn'...
Get off my back get off my case
Shit missed the fan and hit me in the face
My car is torn and my clothes are broke down
And I'm so broke my rain checks bounce
Life is tough now can't you see
I got kicked out of my own fantasy
My dog pissed my bed and ruined my sheets
And none of my shoes seem to fit my feet
Anti-life
Hitting the stage now every night
They say break a leg so I break my right
I ...
[Poem by Jonas Deroueche]
How extravagant my shadow,
In october five times my height
Hence my silhouette's grandeur,
A reflection of lost glory
Splendid seed sowed in spring,
In november harvested wine of sorrow
The sap contaminated lifeblood forever,
Bliss my souls' inmost growth
Night,
Another night of the damned,
Standing at the border to insanity land
Dance of the dead in the midnight hour,
Touching your cold lips,
Shivering of lust
Apathetic you stare,
Into my infected soul,
I close my eyes,
Dream away,
As I lose control
And now your mine forever,
Forever you are mine,
Now your mine forever
Until the end,
Until the end of time...
The love that you denied,
Was the r...
So long I wish you well
Where I am going you cannot follow
I can feel them trying to change who I am
I can feel I can feel
I can feel them trying to break my will
I will not come back
But I still mourn
The death of a life
My life reborn
I can feel I'm changing
From me
So long I wish you well
Where I'm going you cannot follow
Temporary visit to see the sights of hell
I will not come back
But I ...
Desires to live in the past
To start all over again
When nobody knows and nobody cares
And no one is to blame
A short distance from Heaven
Even though I know it's not the same
I think I must be crazy now
Cause I have yet to go insane
Can I ever let myself smile again
Or will I only wind up feeling pain
The ticking of the clock on the wall
The only sound that remains
It sounds like it's a time ...
I've tried everything, just to change the pain
Fractured dream, and I'm not the same
I've lost ability to escape in sleep
Hold on a little longer
And there's nothing left of me
And you said you love me, and you said you needed me
But it's not me
Was never on the inside, too long to be alone
Was never like them, no identity of my own
I can be anything except myself, chameleon
And you said you k...
God of make-believe
In your world
Nothing's what it seems
Master Of pre-judgement
What do you really know
about the things we do
We know who you are
This time you've gone too far
The scar runs too deep
Thanks for the inspiration
To rise above you all
Second coming
Back with a vengeance
Judgement day
Cleansweep
Dreams spoiled by your greed
When honey turns to mud
you can't succeed
You're laughi...
Look at you now, pathetic and weak
Slowly walking down on loser street
Bound to live your life without dignity
Self-inflicted misery
Trust is something that you earn
Deceit from trust is what I've learned
What you have is what I gave
I made you what you are
Is this the thanks that I get
Broken trust, a permanent scar
True colors
Transparent, I see through you
Who cares about old times
Who care...
Ring you neck until it's red and rosy
With my fist smash your posies
Ashes to ashes our world falls down
Feed the poison it tastes like lies
Wash them down with the tears you cry
Digest this love I'd rather spit it out
Hey headache just get out
Get out
This birth this life my death
This hurt this strife my head
Headbutt gutwrench at night I lie
With this demon by my side
Under the scope that i...
Like a ship lost at sea,
That's all we'll ever be,
A suicidal breed,
Shaped from this tainted life we live
So what can you tell me,
That I don't already know,
You're already my bottle of pills,
And companion as I go
This ripped up soul,
Will it ever change this life Iive,
No never...
We're dying within,
'Cos we're living it our own way,
today, tomorrow
Tell me brother,
Will you ever bleed for ...
There is a seed set to grow in my soul
That burns my heart but leaves my brain in control
Screams of pain and screams of fear
That lives inside my head
So now in different shapes I come to you
Smile as I fill your head with words untrue
Addictive ways of pleasure I bring to thee
You are weak, thereby easy to victimize
Crack my whip
To project demons in your mind
Taking you down
To the forever ...
I guess I am just...
Torn between life or silence,
As the pain in my eyes becomes to clear
Destroyed By the sounds so empty,
Empty as the answer to my prayers
God You're still robbing my cradle,
Your crawings for my love erased my mind
I stand raped and lonely...
Embrace the moment,
My life in your hands
Divine torment,
As I feel the love I fear
You push me aside and mock my tears
Lifeless the...
Hey, girl, you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.
Cover up with makeup in the mirror
tell yourself, it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you m...
Open my eyes, what don't I see
You don't feel real
So you're fake, you're so fake
So you're fake to me, far gone
Fallen angel, so afraid to fly
What do you want, what don't you get
If I had died would you have cried
Far gone, I'm so far gone, I'm in denial
I was there for you
Could of made me your savior
But you didn't care
You were never there for me
Where you ever really there, no loyalty
You want an answer,
Well, What do you want to hear,
That I think you're special
And that I really care?
That's where you wrong,
'Cos I'll never be,
More than I expect from me
The whole of me dedicated to your misery,
You're a whore, I'm a hero
Don't chew more than you can swallow
Don't chew more than you can swallow
Don't chew more than you can swallow
I stand corrected,
Sorry I made you feel ...
Intact is what I am
Full weight not missing a gramme
Got the power to blow it all away
Attitude a part of the game
You and me are not the same
I'm superior in every way
Why can't you see
You're where I want you to be
I hope you see it my way
Your end will come, you will see
Feel the strength, why can't you see?
I am the one I want to be
I am a one man war machine
Know me, touch me
Love me, fea...
Preacher man, judging you again
Telling you about your sins
He made himself god to say
Sinful life is not the way
Follow christ the lord of flies
In holy wars where people still die
So as god fills your hollow mind
I will st my own rules of life
Body of christ
Holy rage
quot;Thou shalt not sinquot; are the words of the weak
Do you really believe in turning the other cheek?
As so many others, y...
The things you tried to make me believe in
To live, give, love and forgive
I'm trying...
Never painless, emotional emptiness
I always keep raping myself this way
Just darkness, I'm building myself a mountain of grief
I'm left by myself
Noose of guilt around my neck
Will there be someone here to listen?
Self destructive, or call it what you want
Self deception, I do it time and time again
True ...
Got mighty convictions, I'm my only help
I'm on my own conditions, I only blame myself
I try to be the only friend I need
To be left alone it came to be
That I slip in and out of the me
Just past the point of thinking
Instincts rule the mind
Old habit starts to sink in
The thoughts I thought I left behind
It's like an old quot;Bquot; freak show
No heroes on the stage
Escalation predictable swe...
Trying to run from what you are
Afraid of being alive
Hands shaking body aching
The abuse left a permanent scar
So now to get by you do whatever it takes
You need your reality to hit your veins again
Don't try to blame anyone
Your blame is self chosen
Don't come looking for sympathy
'Cause you won't get it from me
You're nothing but a burned out wreck
That solves problems with another hit
The ...
We are the land that gave unto me
We are the land where you cop a plea
We are the land that your dollar bore
We are the land that wants so much more
American pride do the need of other
American pride neglect the need ourselves
Freedom cried and was made to say uncle
Sam and his boys quot;we're only here to helpquot;
We are the land where the wild run free
We are the land of hypocrisy
We are th...
Look out over our city streets
See the violence below
Losers cling to their hallowed ground
Only faith that they know
Youth collides in opposing prides
The body count escalates with no reprise
We are legion we are defiance
We are legion we are the violence
We are legion we are the future
We are the masters of our fate, slaves to the paper god
Carry the burden of estate, with overwhelming odds
...
This fraction of time,
Will it humble our thinking
or laugh in our face
Beaten and torn on bruised knees crawling,
It decomposes my soul
Fall - constantly falling,
Call - I'm forever just calling,
Get no answer, No relief,
Numbness takes control
Fall - constantly falling,
Fear - I'm forever just running,
Cry - I'm pathetically crying, When I...
Feel and feed the foetus in my mind,
Seeking refu...
Welcome to the lines
Of the meat production chain
Meat survival's down
Plague death from the disease
Still the meat procreates
Adds bodies to the flames
Lifes** it hungers on
Too hungry for release
This serpent devours Eden
Hormonal venom relief
Meat production relentless
Virgin survival instinct
The last porno hero Adam
And anorexic sister Eve
And the serpent it f***s on
Like an erect man-mad...
On the eighth day the voice said to me
quot;Open your mind and you shall be free
Preach the word in a convenient way
And you will become like unto theequot;
I ask for nothing but the truth in plain
No concealing shrouds or cold disdain
quot;If you convince them that you are no fraud
Then you'll be the new man made god
And they'll all come to worship at your feet
Get on their knees and pray
All...
Right now what are you thinking
Paddle with the spoon and you came up sinking
Too fast then it gets faster
Downward spin don't think you're gonna last
You're drowning in a pool so shallow
Eating at the soul until the body is hollow
Hazing so you won't see
You're nothing but a whore boy to the monkey
Faith in me
Decay
Shine on
Weakness voluntary sickness
Learn when you burn it's the wrong way t...
Red angels dance on lips
As my mother burns for your sadistic trips
I can turn the vision away
But the image persists it won't go away
You preach like prophets but you say it wrong
You fan the flames of battles born
You think you're right and you're posed to fight
You burn the blood so you should loose the right
You hold her up and you lie some more
That you're not holding what you're fighting...
I feel strong
The power is back
It's been gone for so long
Trust me, here I come
Yeah, the scars in me
Came from what you wanted me to be
But still
I am what I am...
My life built on confusion
Hours spent alone in seclusion
I've come to claim what's mine
I am the one
quot;I am the armageddon man
It's written on a wall for a good time callquot;
Should I reveal the secrets in my mind?
Tell me, I...
And still there comes another sunrise again
Clouded by the shades of yesterday
Still I feel naivet??'s hope for change
Memories endured memory remains
Peel the skin off this walking corpse
Fingernails scrape the skin from off my back
When the pain you feel is deliberate masochistic and integral
And all you know is you lived it fought it but you gave up hope
Never let your pain get in the way
Y...
Insecurity breeds contempt
Opposing perceptions of time well spent
Your disregard for the way I feel
You're all up in your head where nothing's real
I must have been a prick in some past life gone
You say it's over then you come back strong
You play your life like it's on a stage
Through all your abuse misuse and distrust
Your liquid loyalty integrity rust
You are not the first to prove themse...
Forfeit of reason
I cannot forgive
Dictates of treason
Nothing more I'll give
Wounds are familiar
Scars will never heal
Enamored depression
Nothing more I'll feel
And if there will come a time
My heart it beats with thoughts that eat their way into my brain
My blood it pumps boiling the veins
Corrodes all that I gave away
Contagious confusion
Engulfing all I've known
Overwhelming thought proce...
So now you speak
Words and truth betrayed
My love and my trust betrayed
So take what's yours and I'll keep mine
We'll burn what's yours to forget the time
When things were said and lies were told
This love was dead before it got old
I don't care at all about you now
You give good head games
Why did I believe in you
Why believe in you
I can't talk to anyone
I just can't trust in what they say
I...
Here I stand alone
Abused by myself
Scenes of suicide
Like a solid wall of fear
Negativity overcomes
Positivity in me
Self pity, laughing
Screaming in my ears
The fuse is lit
The fuse that makes me explode
These questions I ask
Who gives and who takes?
If the answer is god, well
Who am I? His mistake?
An endless battle
Against depressive thoughts
Brief moments of victory
'Cause you know there ...
A shattered soul born,
From a loss of faith,
Your empty mind filled,
With the wrath of god
Now your broken heart,
Will never heal your scars,
But you'll be saved,
From religious starvation
As I become your guiding star
The twisted rule the wicked,
A beginning with no end
The calm becomes the restless,
As I am your
Self appointed god
Same order, new messiah,
Define my name,
Your my puppet my bl...
He's building a mountain for you
You're so filled with your self,
Never wrong always right
Always the winner in your own little world,
Fantastic, Always on top
Well, The bigger the ego the harder the fall,
Please man, are you for real
Your myths and your lies
really makes my eyes bleed,
Delude your surroundings
Pretending to be something that you're not,
You're only...
Deceiving your self
Hypo...
You feel the need
To draw your lines in your box of sand
Condescend on me
Just who are you supposed to be
There's no one out there as f***ed as you
The worst of our kind think the way that you do
Your thoughts on equality are nothing new
You think you're better than me that makes me better than you
The promise of your lies
Don't bite the apple and the serpent dies
Your fa??ade full of holes
An...
Taste of the life, devour your soul
Your boys are now numbers raising the toll
You think you're a victim, societies leech
Sinned all your existence, white powder you preach
Violence to gain, history's excuse
When all along it's the path you choose
For you are the one whom the media sings
Soon you will see the color of your wings
Superior race, professional hate
You lost your chance, too little...
Cement shoes to start my downward motion
A one-way ticket to the bottom of the ocean
Big fish come to check out the commotion
Swallow me whole inside this big fish bowl
Hell yeah
For my sins I suffer condemnation
I jump down straight into the center of salvation
There's no slow descent or so she didn't mention
The road to hell is paved with good intentions
Hell yeah
I try to see the best in me...
Faith in me that's wanting, I don't want to live this way
The ghosts that will chase me forever
And I remember, the things that were both good and bad
And why we let it slip away
And the things that made me angry, raged a war of attrition inside my head
Things that changed me forever, and I have tried to be the best I thought I could
There must have been another way
There is another way I stil...
Born and raised under daddy's protective wings,
Sheltered from all the ugly things in life
But didn't daddy tell you,
There are places where you don't belong,
Executive seats,
In charge of my life,
Music industry
And if he did,
Why didn't you listen?
So you could have spared us
the unpleasent experience
of ever meeting you.
Promises broken,
Money never seen
Your pockets never deep enough,
Alwa...
Here they go again, being untrue to themselves
It's nothing new, it's all been done before
They are not a dying breed
More like growing seed
With roots choking honesty and truth
They are twisting your words
And they are making up lies
When confronted they are in denial
No one is given the chance
To explain the actual facts
Because the book's already judged by its cover
Hate, rage, fear
Not pre...
This is my diary of broken dreams,
A monument over me,
Page after page twists my mind with grief
What I should but never did,
How could I ever be so wrong?
Crucified, Upon an empty sandglass,
My life is gone, I am none,
Sentence to mediocraty,
Sentence by myself
Forgotten, Forsaken,
Frustrated when nothing more remains
Forgotten, Forsaken,
Wasted, I am in vain
I had a life, I had a dream,
Plac...
Worn out and nothing more to give
Who said that life was simple to live
The pain inside eats away at your pride
The price of friendship is sometimes high
But weak, in pain
Is where you want me to be
But still you are
The one who'll always lose
I win, you lose
Crack some lies behind my back
The time has come to start paying back
So here I come you pathetic shit
It's time to choose where the fis...
Wild side inside me, takes full control
Troubled defies me, it hammers my soul
My heart is straightcast, but it has a few holes
Which I can fill up faster on the take
It takes its toil
Will you let me in your mind
Will you let you be my eyes
Will you take me to your breast
I had your heart and I lost it in your breath
Nothing to do but run to, what feeds your heart
I want what's inside you, to...